Saturday, August 02, 2008

Coming back

It feels one kind being back to Shanghai again. The little excitement was gone once the plane touched down the runway of Pudong International Airport. The mood got twisted a little again once I hop on into the taxi heading downtown. I found out that I started questioning myself – have I made the right call to come back to Shanghai?

So my long break was over – the 14 months’ break that made almost all auditors think I am out of my mind. And it’s now time to get back to the track and start thinking of that “career” thing. Job hunting was not pleasant at all, from getting the correct mood set to picking up the long forgotten accounting standards to adjusting to speak the business world language. And yeah, I did get rejected, and that was like a stab onto the confidence that makes you start thinking perhaps you were being over-confident and should start lower down your expectations.

So now that I have decided to take up this finance job offer in Shanghai, and turned down another internal audit position offered which allowed me to travel within and very likely across the region.

The taxi keeps speeding on the highway. Questions pop up – being far away from home and makes my parents not so happy; re-adapting to the new working environment and culture and this gonna be really tough; a not-great-at-all package; networking circles that I need to rebuild; lots of uncertainty slowly unveiling ahead, you do not know where you are heading to.

So why have I decided to take this route? My heart kept silent, none of those inside me know the answer. I remember writing something years ago that sounds like this – say I am running a circle, and staying in Malaysia especially in Melaka means I tend to run a smaller circle as days go by. And when I get older I will be superbly comfortable with running the small circle and never want to get out again. I will be happy and contented couching like a potato watching documentaries on tv.

So I think I need to go out. Going to a place where allows me to earn a reasonable living, live a spacious life, gain a well respected dignity, and maintain that positive curiosity to the world outside.

So here I am in Shanghai.

Shanghai 2/8/2008

4 comments:

小莫 said...

别老想太多你不能也无能为力以控制的东西。

把时间与心思多些花在以下两样事情:
1. 时间花了(就算是一点点)就能把生活素质提升与改进一点的事情;和
2. 时间花了(就算是一点点)就能把职业发展提升与改进一点的事情。

展望明天。请时常提醒自己,你是很幸运的。

Justine林诗琬 said...

Life ain't so easy sometimes, every cloud has a silver line, hope that tomorrow will be a better day for you :)

kahyeim said...

小莫:我现在什么都不想了,是啊,根本没办法腾出时间来想那么多。我也常觉得自己还算是幸运的,从有机会有能力放那么长的假期、旅途中背包丢了护照和钱还在,到现在误打误撞住到了流丽的苏州河边上,我觉得我总会不经意地让自己去碰上幸运的事。未来的生活当然要比过去要好,那航过苏州河通向外滩的游艇就要开动了,我天天跟进工程和美化的进展,还能不满怀志气吗。哈!

kahyeim said...

Justine: Yeah, I can't wait to see the meteor shower, need to check the news! Life will be boring without the ups and downs. It's all the imperfection that makes life perfect, quoted Ewan McGregor in his book on trans Siberia. I agree!